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Pussy Magnet
Pussy Magnet is the second episode of Season 4, and the 32nd episode of Dick Figures. It was released on the Dick Figures website on April 19. Plot To help Blue lubricate his limp game , Red shares his three-step plan for getting fore-play started again. Transcript (Red is shown dancing to music at the beginning, then Blue walks in and he stops) Blue: Hey dude I think I need your advice. Red: 'Sup bitch! Blue: Pink and I are having some problems. I'm worried I lost my game. Red: Son, you never had game! (Camera speeds to the left, to a green-ish - blue person) Greenish-blue person: OOWWW! (Camera speeds to the left again, to an orange person) Orange person: Oww, shit! (Camera speeds for the last time to the left to an own perched in a tree) Owl: N-nn (Camera goes back to Red) Red: I'm like a puss maaagnet! (A small kitten is shot into the back of Red's head) Blue: Come on man, I need your help! Red: (Shown with 3 kittens on him this time) ''Nope. Blue: You get all kinds of ladies! Red: ''(shown with 7 kittens) Can't help ya. Blue: Pleaase dude? I'll let you- Uhhh... Red:'' (shown with 18 kittens, until Red knocks one off)'' Can I punch you in the face? Blue: Ughh... Fine~ You can punch me in the f- (Gets cut short by Red, who punches him in the face and possibly knocks him out) Red: (walks off, covered in cats, in a mysterious voice) The cats have spoken. (Time lapse. Scene changes to a park with two girls sitting on a bench (with a cat underneath) and a bush which Red and Blue proceed to jump into) Red: First thing you gotta do is surprise them. Ladies love surprises. Check this out! (Red jumps out of the bush with a bucket filled with water and throws it over the two girls) SURPRISE!!! (After a moment of confusion, the two girls start making out.) Red: Alright, stay here! I'm a show you how a threesome works, yeaaahh! (Cow bells heard in the background.) ''Here comes the milkman! ''(Back to the original scene) Red: Alright step two! Confidence! When you talk to mademoiselles, you got to be direct.'' (Red walks up to a pink-purple girl)'' Hey baby, pardon my French, but I wanna fuck! Pink-purple: Oooh, French is so beautiful. What does it mean? Red: It means: I wanna fuic Pink-Purple: Ooh! (Red and Pink-purple start to make out on the ground) Ooh-la-la! Blue: (All the while, the sounds of Red and Pink-Purple making out are audible) Okay, ehh... Oh no! OAGH! Red: (off-screen as he has sex with Pink-Purple) I'll put my Eiffel Tower in your Arch of Triumph﻿. (Time lapse. Red and Pink-Purple have finished, and Red is looking high) Blue: Alright, I think I've seen enough for one day. Red: The last lesson is: You-need-to-be-suaave! (Camera zooms on Red's hat and a whistling sound is heard) Blue: What does that mean? Red: It means you need a sexy hat!'' (whip crack, and another whistle sound, followed by zooming in on the hat)'' Blue: (exasperated) I don't think a sexy hat has anything to do with it. Purple: (To Red) Is that a hat? Orange: (To Red) Oh, I'm so horny! Blood Orange: (To Red) Oh my God, you're so suave! Red: (To Blue) So remember, all you need to do is surprise her, be confident, and get a sick lid! Blue: (sighs) Goddammit... Okay. (Time lapse. Scene cuts to Pink in her room on a bed reading the Hunger Games (could be Hungr Dames, a bit unclear). Pink flips a page backwards, suddenly, Blue bursts into the room wearing a sombrero.) Blue: PINK I LOVE YOU!! ' Pink: ''(Screams and pulls out a gun and shoots Blue, who falls back through the doorway) BLUE, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! Blue: The bullet! In my body. (Time lapse. Scene cuts to Blue in a wheelchair with multipule wounds and Red with kittens on him) Red: How'd it go? Blue: Next time, I'm asking Lord Tourettes. (Lord Tourettes appears from the side of the screen) Lord Tourettes: Oh-hohoho! You know, all you really need is a biiig 'DI-' (Episode End) (After Credits) Blue:'' (In a wheelchair) ''Figures. Trivia *The episode begins in the same place it began in the very first episode, A Bee or Something. *It is unknown where the bucket of water came from. *Red's hat seems to be what atracts women. *This is one of the first episodes Blue got shot by someone. *This is the third time Blue asks Red for help. *It is also unknown where Pink got the handgun from, or why she has one in her bed. *Usually 'Pussy Magnet' refers to something that attracts women, but in this case, Red attracts both women and kittens. *Red's hat can be seen somewhat like a pussy magnet. *This is the first episode to have a homosexual moment when the two girls Red surprised started tongue kissing. *Pink's debut of Season 4. *This is the first episode they talk about Red's hat. *Second episode Red punches Blue in the face. *This is the first episode to have cartoon kittens. *This is the third time where there is an extra clip after the ending. *This is the first and probably the only episode Pink shot Blue with a gun. *Pink likes the Hungr Dames, which is a parody of the book; ''The Hunger Games ''by Suzanne Collins. *This is the third episode since A Bee or Something thats has unchanged I's at the end of an episode. *First time Blue has asked Red for actual advice. *This is the first episode where the title of the series was actually said. Lord Tourettes said "DICK'''", but it was cut off, but after the credits, Blue says "Figures." *This is the first time Lord Tourettes gets the last word (before the credits). *Seems like no girls here understand any other language than English Recurring Gags Auto-tune Use *None Floating Red *When Red tells Blue that he "never had game", Red floats on the 'had' Episode Ending *Normal letter I's, but a major change. The Dick Figures logo shakes, and the Episode Ending is dextended. The Last Line Being Cut *When Lord Tourettes tells Blue that all he needs is a "Big di-" Then the ending music plays, and Blue is shown saying " figures " Gallery Pussy Magnet 1.jpg Pussy Magnet 2.jpg Pussy Magnet 3.jpg Pussy Magnet 4.jpg Pussy Magnet 5.jpg Pussy Magnet 6.jpg Pussy Magnet 7.jpg Pussy Magnet 8.jpg Pussy Magnet 9.jpg Pussy Magnet 10.jpg Pussy Magnet 11.jpg Pussy Magnet 12.jpg Pussy Magnet 13.jpg Pussy Magnet 14.jpg Pussy Magnet 15.jpg Pussy Magnet 16.jpg Pussy Magnet 17.jpg Pussy Magnet 18.jpg Pussy Magnet 19.jpg Pussy Magnet 20.jpg Pussy Magnet 21.jpg Pussy Magnet 22.jpg Pussy Magnet 23.jpg Pussy Magnet 25.jpg Pussy Magnet 26.jpg Pussy Magnet 27.jpg Pussy Magnet 28.jpg Pussy Magnet 29.jpg Pussy Magnet 30.jpg Pussy Magnet 31.jpg Pussy Magnet 32.jpg Pussy Magnet 33.jpg Pussy Magnet 34.jpg Pussy Magnet 35.jpg Pussy Magnet 36.jpg Pussy Magnet 37.jpg Pussy Magnet 38.jpg Pussy Magnet 40.jpg Pussy Magnet 41.jpg Pussy Magnet 42.jpg Pussy Magnet 44.jpg Pussy Magnet 46.jpg Pussy Magnet 47.jpg Pussy Magnet 48.jpg Image.png Pussy Magnet 51.jpg Video Category:Episodes Category:Season 4